What is Perimenopause?

‍There was one day a month where I felt rage.

Not frustration. Not irritability. Rage.

It would come out of nowhere, last about a day, and then lift just as fast as it arrived. And every time it happened, I’d think — that’s not me. That’s not who I am.

I knew something was off. I also knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that it probably wasn’t something I just had to live with.

Everyone’s talking about it (finally!), but what is it?

Perimenopause is the transitional phase before menopause — the years during which your hormones begin to fluctuate and gradually decline. It’s not a single moment. It can last anywhere from a few years to a decade, and it can start as early as your mid-30s.

It can look like mood swings, brain fog, sleep disruption, unexplained weight changes, low libido, anxiety, and changes in your cycle. Symptoms are often subtle at first and easy to attribute to stress, aging, or just being busy.

Most women aren’t told any of this until they’re already in the middle of it. Many aren’t told at all.

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Doing Everything “Right” — and Still Feeling Wrong

Over the last few years, I noticed my body changing in ways that didn’t add up.

Weight was slowly creeping up. Not dramatically, not overnight — just steadily, over about three years, in a way that felt completely disconnected from how I was living.

Here’s the part that still gets me: the time when I gained the most weight was when I was trying to be the healthiest!

I started lifting heavier weights. I started taking creatine. I was eating more protein than ever. By every metric I knew, I was doing the right things.

And I just felt... bloated. Puffy. Like my body wasn’t responding to any of it.

If you’ve felt this way, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not imagining it. You are not failing. Your hormones are shifting, and no amount of protein or gym time will override that if the underlying biology isn’t addressed.

Nobody told me that. I had to find it myself.

How I Actually Learned About Perimenopause

A few years ago, before I really felt like I was in the thick of it, I was invited to join a beta group of women doing an eight-week perimenopause education course. I’d heard the word, I knew the symptoms could be wide-ranging and easy to miss, and I was curious.

I sat with those women, listened to their experiences, worked with a coach, and got educated on so many aspects of this transition that I simply hadn’t known before. At the time, I was there mostly to learn. But as I listened, I started recognizing a few things in myself.

That’s when I decided to look into it more seriously.

I share this because there’s real value in getting educated before you feel like it’s urgent. Perimenopause has a way of creeping up quietly, and by the time you’re searching for answers, you’ve often already been in it for a while.

The Part I Wish I’d Known Sooner

I knew what perimenopause was when I started experiencing symptoms. But I wish I had known about it at 30 — before having kids, before two pregnancies in my late 30s, before two postpartum periods that left me wondering what was going on inside my body.

I had my second child at 39. And when I came out of that postpartum period, I genuinely didn’t know what to attribute my feelings to. Was it postpartum depression? Was it something else entirely? I didn’t know that perimenopause was even a possibility I should be considering alongside everything else.

There’s so much we don’t connect until later. And I think a lot of women my age are having that same realization right now.

I’ve also learned that a daughter’s experience often mirrors her mother’s — the age it starts, the symptoms, the trajectory. That’s essentially your roadmap. Most of us never think to ask for it.